I was at a point in my life when it all came down to this: I was reading or watching any material that promised to disclose how to make money fairly quickly (and fairly effortlessly, to be honest) from something. It might not even be anywhere near my skillset. Matter of fact, I would still open the link or play the advertisement and wonder.
I’ve now opened my internet browser from around that time and here’s 4 of the things I’ve clicked while “doing research” online — three articles titled “How I tripled my income in 2 months by leveraging Linkedin”, “How to make money with google maps” and “What I learned from writing an ebook in under 30 days and selling it for $19.95”.
The fourth is some website that turned out to be a multi-level marketing company advertising financial freedom to absolutely anyone who wishes it. Yes, even to people who’ve never used a computer before. No, I’m not kidding. I’m not saying it’s impossible, but they intentionally fail to mention how so much harder that would be without having a minimum set of skills.
To top it all up, I was doing that fully aware that I had already committed to at least two other projects that pretty much took up all my spare time. It was like my mind had a mind of its own, that’s how bad this was.
So then why was I doing this?
I was never fully aware until recently of this, but now I feel I can say with certainty that I understand the bigger issue here.
It all comes from the fact that I was not willing to acknowledge my vulnerability to these types of messages.
Yes, it makes sense that anyone, myself included, is looking for ways to live more of the good life, which can be provided by an improved financial situation.
Unconscious biases.
But here’s the rub: I kept telling myself that I can’t be fooled by all this stuff and I know to tell the truth from the lies because I am not this silly, naïve person.
Bias number one: only innocent and naïve people can be fooled by false advertising. I was none of those things, so there you have it.
I kept telling myself, having worked in marketing myself, that I understand all too well that marketing/advertising is deceiving. That these messages are carefully crafted by teams of professionals after having focused grouped the hell out of the target customers.
Bias no 2: just because I know more about a thing, it does not make me immune to its effects.
The Big Breakthrough: Acknowledging Vulnerability.
In fact, it’s especially those people who are not aware of their vulnerability or who suspect it but feel too afraid to let themselves acknowledge it that are the most exposed to whatever risks they are thus trying to avoid.
In “Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead” Brené Brown says this: “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
Because of perceiving vulnerability as a weakness, I toughened up and started seeing guardedness as a strength. This in fact only made me weaker (see my willingness to buy into advertising messages that I intuitively knew were not entirely truthful) and less guarded, except only from other people.
A Brave New World.
And with this, my story comes full circle. Vulnerability for me was a weakness. Now that I understand and acknowledge with no shame or fear my own vulnerability, I can be aware of how it works against me.
And though I am still the same person, with the same cultural and social background that made me put the “=” sign between weakness and vulnerability in the first place, I no longer stand by that.
And because of this, it holds no power over me. I have started admitting my own biases and vulnerability to myself and slowly to people I can trust to be supportive and not judge. As I slowly build my confidence, I will openly and honestly disclose them to the world.
This is my mantra now:
Vulnerability is not weakness. Acknowledging vulnerability empowers me and makes me strive to live a life of Courage. Being Brave is being Vulnerable.
